The world’s first Divorce in a Box
November 18, 2011 by Suzy
The UK’s first ‘divorce fair’ – Starting Over Show – has now packaged up the best of what it offers in promoting non-adversarial routes through divorce – and put it into a box. A real box – supplied in different colours, some with ribbons.
“Why shouldn’t good information combined with powerful inspiration be packaged in an attractive way? I want people going through the confusion of family break up to be able to have easy access to key guidance and expert advice in a way that is more tangible than just flailing around on google,” explains the creator of SOS Divorce in a Box, Suzy Miller.
“I have taken the best resources from the Starting Over Shows and presented them in a different way. The SOS Boxes promote mediation and collaborative law, which keep people out of court, help protect the kids and save people money and stress. I am collaborating with the Ministry of Justice in promoting non-adversarial routes through divorce, and the experts partnering with me range from life coaches to financial planners.”
The box contains a media pack with videos, audio recordings and pdfs providing a wide range of resource material, including videos about divorce mediation and even audio ‘meditations’ for relaxation, positive affirmations, and forgiveness.
“It’s amazing how often people confuse divorce ‘mediation’ with ‘meditation’!” Suzy explains. “But I include meditations in the box because they are a powerful way to support people psychologically through a difficult life change. I believe in taking a holistic approach to life crises like divorce and break up, and empowering rather than ‘rescuing’ people, who need a map of how to navigate their way through.”
The boxes come in different colours, as Suzy wants both men and women to benefit from the booklets and also vouchers – over £500 worth of complementary expert services available ‘in the box’.
“Anyone buying a physical box or getting an online version, will be able to access free sessions with top experts like Francine Kaye (Channel 5′s The Wright Stuff ‘Divorce Doctor’), top UK Parenting Coach Sue Atkins, as well as financial and wellbeing support, and get a 20% discount on a managed divorce through Divorce Online.”
The Starting Over Shows have been well received because of the holistic and wellbeing focus of the events, supported by Reverend’s from the Church of England right through to support organisations like the CAB. Flyers for recent Guildford events were available via doctor’s surgeries, JobCentrePlus and family courts.
But even though the live events are very relaxed and friendly, Suzy felt that some people were still too overwhelmed by their divorce to be able to get along and attend, so she wanted to create something they could access in private, in their own time.
“I wanted the boxes to not only be incredibly useful – to provide information that guides people through a better way of doing divorce – but also to offer immense value for money by including fantastic 1-1 expert advice with top professionals in their field.”
Suzy is selling the boxes online: £36 for the online version, and £40 for the physical version including vat and UK postage. For more information visit www.sosdivorceinabox.com
END
Suzy Miller
suzy@startingovershow.co.uk
07525 059 634
Expert comments from ‘divorce professionals’ available on request.
Hi Res Images can be downloaded from http://gallery.me.com/suzymiller2#100316&view=grid&bgcolor=black&sel=6
Relevant links:
Press Pack: http://www.startingovershow.co.uk/index.php/sos-15-march-2009/press-pack-sos-divorce-in-a-box/
Divorce in a Box www.sosdivorceinabox.com
Starting Over Show www.startingovershow.co.uk
What’s inside SOS Divorce in a Box?
November 17, 2011 by Suzy
Includes over £500 of vouchers for complementary 1-1 expert advice and resources
Your Starting Over Divorce in a Box contains the following:
Over £500 of vouchers for complementary 1-1 expert advice and resources including:
30 minute consultation with TV Celebrity & relationship expert Francine Kaye (worth £50)
30 minute consultation with Parenting Expert Sue Atkins (worth £47.50)
1 hour’s consultation and information pack with Jackie Rose of DivorceLIPservice: managing your own divorce as a Litigant in Person (worth £50)
1 hour consultation with financial planner Steven Hennessy
50 mins consultation with psychologist, relationship expert & author Tommaso Palumbo (worth £60)
Finding the Source of your Divorce download programme created by Naked Divorce Coach Adele Theron (worth £165)
20% discount on a Managed Services DIY divorce through Divorce Online
A photographic session with Scott Collier Photography – positive images of yourself! (worth £250)
45 minute mentoring session with Goddess Star-Monroe on “How to be a Woman” (worth £197)
(boys – you might want to make a present of this voucher!)
Free training & support from Anne Marie to create a successful new business and still have time for kids and other work commitments
WHAT ELSE IS IN THE BOX ?
A media pack containing a DVD containing videos, audio pdfs & links to online resources about:
divorce mediation
collaborative family law
DIY self-representation
life coaching & relationship skills
parenting skills
audio meditations
shared stories
WHAT DOES IT COST?
Buy the physical box here for £40 including UK postage
The online version (quicker, but you can’t keep it handy on a shelf), is £36. Click here…..
Both physical box and also the online version include:
Over £500 of complementary vouchers
Media Pack
3 SOS booklets:
Every journey needs a good map/7 stages of breakup recovery
The Nitty Gritty: Legal & Financial
Starting Over: Parenting & Wellbeing
DIFFERENT COLOURS AVAILABLE:
Currently online shop sells small cream box with ribbon and larger dark blue box (no ribbon)
Other boxes are available by contacting suzy@startingovershow.co.uk
Buy the physical box here
Buy the online version here…..
Psychic Divorce Horoscope November 2011
November 4, 2011 by Suzy
New Moon 26 October – time to make those new moon wishes
Full Moon 10 November – a good time to cut those ties and find closure
Mercury Retrograde 24 November – brings delays and some chaos in travel, contracts, communications, and computers (back up everything and allow extra time for journeys)
New Moon 25 November – 10 new moon wishes
Capricorn 23 December-20 January: Gather in your harvest and don’t overspend. Things may get a little rough financially, before they get better.
Aquarius 21 January-19 February: Get some fresh air, you have been spending too much time indoors. And while you are out strolling, allow some of those ideas of yours to expand.
Pisces 20 February-20 March: Take some time out for yourself, you have been looking after everyone else and deserve a little “me” time. It needn’t cost a fortune, but you need a little something.
Aries 21 March-20 April: You’ve done your best for someone, in fact, beyond the call of duty. You can’t do anymore, and they will have to follow their own destiny now.
Taurus 21 April-21 May: There’s definitely light at the end of the tunnel, Taurus. You need to take control of your finances and your physical health. Can you get a second opinion? I would.
Gemini 22 May-21June: You’re looking a lot better Gemini. In fact, I’d say you were back in the saddle. Well done! Now whats next? Ah yes, sorting the house out. Good luck.
Cancer 22 June-22 July: There’s an air of gentle change around you this month. Don’t over do things, but do enjoy these last days of autumn sunshine. And be kind to yourself.
Leo 23 July-23 August: You need to pace yourself more. You keep accelerating at a mean rate and then burning out fast. Try and find a better daily routine and delegate.
Virgo 24 August-23 September: Luck is in the air for you Virgo. Its not like you, but I see you being very spontaneous and taking risks. Go on, you might enjoy it.
Libra 24 September-23 October: There’s big change going on around you Libra. You are feeling the strong pull of the planets. Something new and exciting is about to happen, don’t blow it.
Scorpio 24 October-22 November: You know what you have to do. I don’t envy you that decision, you know your whole life will change forever. But do you really have a choice?
Sagittarius 23 November-22 December: Alls well that ends well. You just haven’t quite arrived yet. Don’t give up.
Jane Orr is a natural clairvoyant and healer, with a formal training in psychotherapy. Jane channels a psychic forecast for each sign – and she is also a regular (and very popular!) exhibitor at the Starting Over Show.
What is a Starting Over Show?
October 15, 2011 by Suzy
Protected: Divorce In A Box downloads
October 11, 2011 by Suzy
SOS PR & Media Summary October 2011
October 10, 2011 by Suzy
Press and media summary for Starting Over Show up till now……
Click to download pdf:
Day 1 of divorce mediation boot camp: lessons in latin dancing
October 3, 2011 by Suzy
SOS Mediation Boot Camp
A guide on how to prepare for divorce mediation when you just don’t like each other any more.
Come on, if you’ve ever tried it, you’ll know exactly where I’m coming from. Whether it’s Salsa or other Latin dances, the men (in theory) have to ‘lead’ the dance. They need to be in charge of deciding all the moves – a prospect that may well strike horror into the heart of a divorcing spouse. However, by following the rules of Latin Dance, we can transform a chaotic battle of wills ‘off the floor’, into a smoothly executed piece of visual mastery when on the dance floor – so proving that harmony through strive is a possibility.
Latin dancing is very different from how many common ‘I’m in charge’ dances are played out in the marital home. For example: the ‘DIY dance’ He’s shouting instructions blaming on ‘her’ the fact that despite the shelf clearly not fitting the space – which she knows is because he hasn’t measured the space correctly – he nonetheless continues to insist that his wife is ‘holding it wrong’. All she wants to do is to drop the oversized plank and return to more immediate concerns, anything in fact, other than succumb to a minute more of “come on woman – higher!”
So she does – drop it – breaking (or so you’d think by the noise he makes) every toe on both feet. No, when dancing latino, a man must ‘lead’ in a different way. He must forgo the urge to shout instructions, or even to push out his hips in ungainly middle-aged abandon and fling his wrists in the air, but instead hold his wife in a respectful half embrace, guiding her with the skill of a snake charmer wooing his serpent, turning her softly but with clear direction wherever he wants her to move.
The fact that so many men are able to be rather good at ‘leading’ the dance has no doubt been a result of natural Darwinian selection. The husbands who kept forgetting the steps even after the 100th time of running through the dance, were long ago murdered by their wives. Not for getting the steps wrong – but because they refused to admit it. Those who constantly spun their wives in a wrong turn, smacking her in the face with their flailing arms and groping for the correct hand to continue the agony of a dance to the death, are no more, sparing us their descendants creating misery and mayhem on the dance floor whilst all the time shouting “This way woman!”.
Instead those wise few descendants of the latin groove learned a ‘better way’. They learned to ‘blagg it’.
If you are ‘leading’, you can make every dance step however you want – just as long as you communicate it calmly and clearly to your partner in a way that ensures the continuation of the species. As long as the woman follows – and there’s the rub.
And what about the wife? Well, she knows perfectly well on the dance floor if her hubby is creating his own choreography on the hoof, but so long as he keeps ‘leading’ in a persuasive and engaging way, she has the opportunity to follow, and just look good like a dance partner should.
But she needs to trust him first, and that’s no mean feat when you’ve been trodden on, over-spun and left exhausted feeling a bit of a fool – or even deserted on the dance floor altogether.
Which is why the latin dance day will make such a difference. We don’t learn trust through consistently having our once-loved ones always doing everything right by us. If that were the case, trust would have died out long ago with the progeny of dancers who confused a double spin in salsa with getting the missus to help put up a shelf.
Is it ‘lack of trust’, when a wife starts telling her partner he is a crap dancer, and trying to show him all the moves, making him look ridiculous and herself unable to ‘be led’? Or rather is it a lack of trust in herself? Allowing yourself ‘to be led’ takes a high level of self confidence and clarity of vision about what your ultimate goals are. If a woman really wants to not get her feet trodden on, she will allow her partner the opportunity to lead, but not if she equates (mistakenly) ‘leading’ for ‘controlling’.
When faced with ‘mediation’, some couples may fear that they will be forced to ‘concede’, ‘compromise’ and even ‘stand in each others shoes’ – something which on the dance floor is ill advised. But a few harsh lessons in salsa might jog some primal memories and instincts, allowing the husband to ‘take a lead’ in honest and open discussion, without using angry words, harsh moves or trying to change the tune by scratching the record.
And if the wife does allow her partner to lead the dance, to create a new dance altogether, she may find that he grows the confidence to listen to her creative ideas, communicated in a spirit of co-operation and shared vision, rather than from a place of fear or anger.
Trust is more like that sense of relief that comes with knowing that you are both trying to work together for a common sustainable goal, and if you don’t know the steps, or even when the music is going to end, it’s no matter – you are allowing the creation of a new dance. You can scribble down the choreography later, but for now you just trust, and kind of go with it.
The cry from the latin dance instructor to the ladies is a constant “Don’t try to lead!!!” When will we girls learn that to allow a partner to make up his own steps, this is not necessarily a reason to rebel. ‘Submission’ on the dance floor is what captivates millions glued to “Strictly Come Dancing” on their TVs. Why not give it a try in the mediation sessions? Because even when a dancer does know the ‘right moves’ and puts them in a pre-defined order, unless his partner goes with him, a powerful partnership disintegrates into limping and reprisals.
If a couple who hate each other can flow together to create a new dance (let’s face it, all those flowing couples on Strictly Come Dancing can’t all ‘be in love’) – then surely couples could do the same thing through mediation in creating a new way of life?
This is why a day of latin dance instruction will be included in the SOS Mediation Boot Camp.
Suzy Miller is the creator of Starting Over Show, where people who are stuck discover ways to get unstuck. www.startingovershow.co.uk
What’s in my divorce in a box?
September 28, 2011 by Suzy
Buy the SOS Divorce In A Box for instant information & inspiration
legal pack – starting over from divorce
September 28, 2011 by Suzy
Mediation:
Collaborative Law
DIY divorce
(the rest is still under construction – won’t be long!)
Financial Planners
what is it?
Why should I try it?
Resources
Divorce Coaching
what is it?
Why should I try it?
Resources
what is divorce mediation ?
September 28, 2011 by Suzy
Mediation Fact Sheet
What is mediation?
Well it’s not the same as ‘meditation’ (sitting quietly and connecting to your inner being) and it’s also nothing to do with ‘getting back together’. These are common misconceptions so I wanted to get that out of the way first of all.
Mediation is not appropriate for people who are in physical or psychological danger by being in the same room as their partner, such as in a serious domestic abuse situation, but just not liking each other any more is not a good reason to forsake a tried and tested method of facilitating a long term, sustainable way forward as separate people.
Mediation allows a couple a supported and guided method to end their marriage. It can also be a useful way to sort out parenting issues. With an experienced mediator, even the most difficult roadblocks on the way through divorce and family breakup can be overcome, and you don’t have to go to court. Which is a good thing, as this saves you money and a whole lot of stress.
If your mediator doesn’t happen to be a financial expert, you can bring in a financial planner to deal with any tricky sums relating to house values and pension splitting, (most lawyers would also need to use a financial planner to help sort out that kind of stuff).
The only need for a lawyer would be to check out any legal points that might arise and to make sure your final agreement – although not legally binding – is suitably drafted and appropriate for the judge who will ultimately still makes the decision over what is a ‘fair’ settlement. But you don’t have to go to court or fight over anything, and the mediation sessions are confidential and allow couples to focus on positive goals such as co-parenting after parting.
Emotionally, it can be easier to take a more combative approach if you are angry or deeply hurt, which is why I recommend coaching of some kind prior to mediation to get you into the best emotional and psychological headspace to gain the best benefits from the process.
You can find out more about mediation by clicking here
Being able to listen without fear is a skill we can all learn. Julia Armstrong uses a technique she calls ‘Intentional Dialogue’.
A powerful story of the effects of an aggressive divorce on a child: Listen here
Why it is so important to ask the right questions and avoid a negative framework: see what happened when I asked a few friends to say ‘something positive’ about their ex’s!
