4 questions often asked by divorcing parents but rarely said out loud:

How will I deal with the guilt when I look at my kids and feel that I’ve let them down?

Time.  Focus on the positive outcomes you want to achieve, and let your learning be their learning.

How will I survive financially and what will I do when the kids leave home, my career has been obliterated by the restraints of parenting, and I have no financial resources left?

Be creative.  Lot’s of full-time workers have lost half their pensions due to the financial crises of the last few years, so financial security is a myth.  Many single parents begin new and successful businesses from home, even with young kids.  Make a plan and follow your heart.

Will my kids make the same mistakes and end up getting divorced too?

It’s none of your business what they choose to do with their lives.  Just be there for them.  Romantic relationships are part of the journey of life, not its destination.

How will I ever feel that we are a happy family again, a whole and complete family?

You’ll find a way.  I got photos taken by a professional photographer and saw how happy we looked.  I realised that we were as much a ‘family’ with only one adult in the picture, as any other family.

Suzy Miller
Creator & Producer: Starting Over Show
07525 059 634

Starting Over Show
www.startingovershow.co.uk

SOS Guildford divorce & redundancy road show Surrey/Hants

Listen to our two part ad for SOS at Holiday Inn Guildford for 22 September 2011……

 

Redundancy = Divorce ?

Well that is a question that we may over the coming months find real answers to – the hard way.

With the full force of redundancies throughout the UK yet to be felt, and despite the claims that already financially-stretched couples will not be able to ‘afford’ to get a divorce, we could be seeing a real link between income shifts and people leaving their relationships to go it alone.

Figures published by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) show that the number of women seeking Job Seeker’s Allowance rose once again in July 2011 for the twelfth month in a row.
Observer economics editor Heather Stewart has noted:

“Women make up almost two-thirds of the public sector workforce, so it’s hardly surprising they’ve been hit hard by the wave of job losses since the government announced its austerity programme last autumn.”

Part of the shift results from a push – begun by Labour but stepped up by the government – to nudge single mums into the workforce. Mothers are now shifted off long-term benefits such as income support, and on to jobseekers’ allowance when their youngest child is seven. That means they have to attend regular interviews and show that they are actively looking for work.
It’s hard enough having to try to run a family and work, but will the psychological pressures of job hunting combined with fears of not being able to pay the mortgage – which requires two incomes, not one – lead married couples to breaking point?

I have heard stories of men not revealing to their wives when they face redundancy or bankruptcy, unable to be the bearer of such bad news. Is it shame – or fear of a resulting divorce? I have certainly felt the effects of the link between different life crises through organising my Starting Over Show events, where the majority of exhibitors were focused on supporting people through a non-adversarial divorce, but now an increasing number of exhibitors are supporting visitors who are dealing with redundancy and looking for start-up business opportunities as the best way to create a stable financial future.

According to Elizabeth Warren in a NYT article:

“Many people in bankruptcy were solid bill payers until something knocked their legs out from under them. For two-thirds of these people, it was loss of a job, for 40 percent it was a serious medical problem and for 20 percent it was the economic fallout of divorce.  Divorce may be a factor leading to bankruptcy, but bankruptcy doesn’t cause divorce.”

If this is the case, then perhaps the continued scything of jobs by large private and public sector organisations will not result in more divorce after all? Well, not according to a study based upon the results of the British Household Panel Survey from 1991-2005.

The study suggested that married men and women in Britain who lose their jobs are more likely to divorce within a year than other couples.

Norwegian researcher Morten Blekesaune said the findings show the cost of unemployment isn’t just financial. Blekesaune’s findings were based on 3,586 couples in marriages or long-term relationship.

Blekesaune said a woman losing her job is more likely to lead to partnership dissolution the longer the partnership has lasted, while the effect of a man losing his job is the same, regardless of how long a couple has been together.

The study was published by the Institute for Social and Economic Research at the University of Essex, and indicates that whoever loses their job, that indeed the fallout could be a great deal more than just financial.

Suzy Miller Creator of the Starting Over Show
www.startingovershow.co.uk

Get support with redundancy, unfair dismissal and other life crises at the Starting Over Show

Take A Break Magazine – divorce stories

4 August 2011 Issue 31

Suzy Miller is featured in this issue of Take A Break magazine along with one of the SOS Guildford exhibitors, Marina Pearson of Soul Conneczions.

 

 

Collaborative family lawyer Naim Qureshi

Going through a divorce using lawyers does not have to involve court battles – not if you use Collaborative Family Lawyers.

Come and meet Naim Qureshi from the independent law firm Gordon Dadds, who pride themselves on building long term relationships with their clients, many of whom stay with the firm for years and benefit from their extensive range of services.  Clients range from individuals and wealthy families to companies and charities.

Testimonials:

“Championing a vulnerable client when emotions are running high is a skill in itself and Naim excels in human politics as well as in the law.”  

Penny Dash Director 
Deeper Media

“Naim is an excellent professional that really knows all aspects of the legal process. He is an amazingly gifted individual that is able to consistently bring out the best results in all his endeavours that I have been lucky to be a part of.”
Farjad Ahmed – former client

www.gordondadds.com

 

Talk to Naim and take the opportunity to get some initial information on the options available and the best way forward.  A friendly, non-threatening environment where you can ask questions and leave better informed on how the Collaborative Process can keep you out of court.

 

Divorce Mediator Samantha Jago

Samantha has a wide range of experience in all family matters to include prenuptial agreements, cohabitation agreements, divorce, disputes over jurisdiction, cohabitation disputes, civil partnerships, children matters, injunctions and resolving financial matters arising from the breakdown of a relationship. Samantha also carries out advocacy on behalf of clients.

Samantha is an accredited family law specialist with both the Law Society and Resolution, and she is also a qualified family law mediator with rhw solicitors.

As well as being a member of Resolution, Samantha also regularly advises for the Surrey Law Centre at Guildford CAB. She is past Vice President of Surrey Law Society and advisor for the National Centre for Domestic Violence. An involved member of the National Childbirth Trust (NCT) she writes regularly for their newsletter and also for the Surrey Lawyer.

 

 

Marina Pearson Soul Conneczions

How To Overcome The Heartache of Divorce in 7 easy steps

Divorce and separation can be a hard thing to do. Especially if you were not the one to initiate it. I have had my fair share of break ups and been through a painful divorce and know how challenging these times can be. You feel that there is no way out and somehow you wish that things could be different.

What has got me through these times is my change of perception of the situation. The minute we see the situation differently – in other words we can see how it benefits us the anger and resentment dissolves.

Working with my clients I see this every time. I see that they come with anger or hurt but by the end they are able to see the blessing and the gifts of the situation and how the person they once saw as their enemy they now see as their friend and supporter.

The truth is we usually don’t see how situations that we label bad can help us in that moment or even in the long run. How many times have you confronted a situation that in the moment it was happening you thought it was the worst thing that you could go through? Maybe years later you now realize that without that experience it would not make you the person you are today?

Well the same is true of what you may experiencing, right now. To assist you with this I have put together a 39 page ebook entitled “7 Secrets To Overcome Heartbreak”

They are easy steps to follow and the same ones that I have used myself to overcome the heartbreak that I have recently gone through. Pain is inevitable but suffering is a choice and it is for this reason that I felt it was important to allow you to choose. To choose to let go and create the life and relationships you truly desire.

 

“Attending your workshop really assisted in me accepting my man as he is, the relationship for what it is and was able to express gratitude to him for being in my life. The result is a much more connected bond between us. So thank you for sharing your tools and knowledge.” Dipal

 

Click here if you wish to download  “7 Secrets To Overcome Heartbreak”

I took on board each secret and now know that I don’t have to wait years to overcome the grief. You can overcome it in weeks.

 

 

Psychic Divorce Horoscope August 2011

New Moon Eclipse 30 July – time to make those new moon wishes
Full Moon Eclipse  13 August – time for cutting ties and finding conclusions
New Moon Eclipse 29 August – time to make even more of those new moon wishes

 

Capricorn 23 December-20 January: You hard working Capricorns, really need to find some time for a well earned break this month.

Aquarius 21 January-19 February: “What exactly do you mean by that?” I hear you ask.  Make sure that everyone is making themselves crystal clear, including you, and don’t be an ostrich when they do.

Pisces 20 February-20 March: Is it time for a big change this month, or can you really go on as you are? More questions than answers, I know, but only you can decide.

Aries 21 March-20 April: Worth getting a lottery ticket this month, your luck quota just rocketed!  Can’t actually promise a jackpot win, but something good is definitely coming your way soon.

Taurus 21 April-21 May: You know you have been over doing things recently.  You need to get some early nights and watch your diet. Can you get to the beach? The sea air would do you good.

Gemini 22 May-21June: You can afford to spend some time just dreamily staring out of the window,   and it looks as if you have something or someone worth dreaming about. Enjoy!

Cancer 22 June-22 July: There is a nostalgic feel to this month, for you Cancer, are you thinking of visiting a place you remember fondly? Can’t do any harm. But then you really do need to start looking forward.

Leo 23 July-23 August:OMG! Leo, what a lovely month ahead.  The sun is in your sign and you can bask in its warmth right through to the middle of September.  Thats right, what you start now will last, actually way past September.

Virgo 24 August-23 September: Normally, I would advise living in the moment, but for you organised Virgos, it would be better for you to spend time planning ahead. Then you can chill a bit.

Libra 24 September-23 October: Time to be up and doing, Libra. You can’t put it, whatever it maybe, off anymore. Its not going to come to you, you have to go out there and get it.

Scorpio 24 October-22 November: Well Scorpio…hows it all going in the love department? Thought so!  I’ll check in again next month, but for now just enjoy it!

Sagittarius 23 November-22 December:

 

Jane Orr is a natural clairvoyant and healer, with a formal training in psychotherapy. Jane channels a psychic forecast for each sign – and she is also a regular (and very popular!) exhibitor at the Starting Over Show.

Divorce SOS Agony Aunt Rhiannon Ford

 

What should I do to prepare for my first meeting with the solicitor?

To make the meeting as productive as possible for you, I recommend 2 things; Firstly, it’s a good idea to spend time writing a list of questions you want to ask the solicitor. This will help you stay focused during the meeting. It also ensures you remember to cover everything that is important to you. The solicitor will appreciate being made aware of the particular areas of law on which you require their advice, and will mean they won’t need to spend time giving you surplus information you may not need at this moment in time.

Secondly, I suggest reviewing information about your family finances and making a note of the details of all assets and liabilities, e.g. value of the house, list of current and savings accounts, details of any loans and credit cards etc. You may also want to bring any relevant paperwork regarding finances. The solicitor will need to have a clear picture of the financial position of the family before they will be in a position to advise fully on financial issues. If you are unsure of the details because your spouse has always taken responsibility for the family’s money, don’t worry. Just provide the solicitor with as much information as you know.

Should I let my wife tell the children we are separating without me being there?

It would be better for you and your wife to speak to the children together. You should discuss with her, what and when the children will be told. This ensures you are both on the same page and can approach the conversation as a united force.  Whilst I appreciate emotions may be very raw at the moment, it is important to put aside your personal feelings for your spouse and prioritise the feelings of your children. Give your children lots of reassurance that the separation is not their fault and that Mum and Dad love them very much and that will never change. Encourage them to ask questions and do not assign blame on either you or your wife. How you approach the separation, can have a big impact on the children’s ability to cope. Whilst you cannot prevent the children from being upset, keeping their best interests at the forefront of your mind will ensure the children’s security and stability are protected as much as possible.

Rhiannon Ford Divorce Coaching provides step by step support for people going through divorce or separation.  A qualified solicitor, Rhiannon has valuable insight into the legal process, providing her with a clear understanding of the emotional difficulties facing her clients.  She can also help on a practical level, translating legal jargon, completing legal forms and giving guidance to prepare for court and mediation.

Book a free 1-1 powwow with Rhiannon at the Starting Over Show. Click here for SOS powwow details……

Divorce Coach Rhiannon Ford Surrey SOS

 

Rhiannon Ford Divorce Coaching: practical & emotional support through divorce and separation.

Rhianon Ford Divorce Coaching provides step by step support for people going through divorce or separation.  A qualified solicitor, Rhiannon has valuable insight into the legal process, providing her with a clear understanding of the emotional difficulties facing her clients.  She can also help on a practical level, translating legal jargon, completing legal forms and giving guidance to prepare for court and mediation.

Client Testimonials
“After finding myself at an unexpected crossroads in my marriage, I felt in need of some legal guidance, however, at this point I was not ready to consult with a fully practising lawyer.  I was then fortunate enough to be put in touch with Rhiannon through a close friend.

Rhiannon has provided me with invaluable, empathetic advice.  She has carefully explained where I stand legally which has enabled me to take stock, examine my options and has helped me to consider the best way to navigate through my situation.  After meeting with Rhiannon feel more empowered and confident, which in turn will help with making all the important decisions I now have to make going forward.” A from Surrey

 

“I was put in touch with Rhiannon recently following unhappy revelations in my marriage. I met with Rhiannon and she explained all the legal jargon in a way that was clear and easy to follow. I felt at ease despite my personal unhappiness and Rhiannon was sensitive yet thorough. I have had follow up phone calls that have again been useful in saving me time and money with a solicitor. Rhiannon is easy to talk to and extremely informative and I will continue to call upon her if I proceed with a divorce at a later date”. S From Kent

“At a time of such confusion, stress and uncertainty It was an absolute relief to receive such sound guidance and support from Rhiannon which not only made sense of the legal processes but offered a great source of comfort and clarity. I couldn’t recommend this service more strongly” L From London

http://www.rhiannonford.co.uk/

 

« Previous Page — Next Page »