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Travel Guide for Divorce

Helping people to ‘break up right – please don’t fight’ and to allow their families to take on new forms in ways that keep them out of court and save them money, requires a collaborative and co-operative approach. Which is why more people need to give mediation and collaborative law serious attention when facing divorce.

Travel Guide for Divorce in an attractive box which includes $100s of complementary access to skilled professional advice: legal, financial and wellbeing maps to guide you through the journey, and show you a range of choices most people don’t realize are available to them.

Divorcing “outside of the box”. Ribbon is optional. Available as on online download for $79 including $100s of free expert advice via phone or skype at www.divorceinabox.us

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Sam shares her experience of a potential divorce and family break up and how she is using SOS Divorce in a Box to provide information and inspiration.

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A study published in January by the Marriage and Religion Research Institute, “The Effects of Divorce on Children,” by Patrick F. Fagan and Aaron Churchill.

“Divorce has pervasive weakening effects on children and on all of the five major institutions of society — the family, the church, the school, the marketplace, and government itself,” Fagan and Churchill concluded.

The concluding section of the study commented that unlike the divorced parents, who can often find relief following separation, children’s suffering continues long after divorce. In fact, its effects continue for decades, as long as three decades.

Even as adults, those who experienced divorce as children experience more emotional and psychological problems compared to those from intact families.

“Divorce wreaks havoc on the psychological stability of many children,” the study found. It referred to research carried out on seventh and eighth grade students that showed parental divorce was the third most stressful life event of a list of 125 life events. It was only surpassed by the death of a parent or close family member.

ZE12021004 – 2012-02-10
Permalink: http://www.zenit.org/article-34281?l=english

Because the only worse thing about being single on Valentine’s Day, is NOT being single – but breaking up – UK couples will be able to order a red box version of the Travel Guide for Divorce (with a ribbon) during the Valentine week of 14 February. Is this just a mad marketing ploy – or is such a ‘gift’ ideal for people who feel their relationship is over, but want it to end in a non-aggressive way – and so preserve all those past romantic memories rather trash them onto the courtroom steps?

Will anyone actually buy a red ‘Divorce in a Box‘ for their spouse on Valentine’s Day? Well, let’s see – but the reason behind it being put on offer is more a campaign statement than a realistic marketing ploy.

If the Big Society is to work, then we need to start with ‘the family’. Squashing what we consider a healthy family into a single box with “mummy, daddy + kids” has to stop, if we are to evolve into a co-operative nation where the word ‘support’ becomes associated with our community as a whole, instead of just government institutions like the NHS or the Courts.

I live alone with 3 children – but my family isn’t a ‘broken home’. It’s an extended family.

In the Scottish Widows report Centre for the Modern Family, Dr Rake says of the research “… married couples, lone parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles – can all create the strong caring relationships that are the hallmark of a good family life.” But what about families who are not related by blood? Like extended families including ex-partners?

As an illustration of that, my kids and I – along with their dad, bonus mum and bonus brother, appeared on Friday 23 December on BBC Breakfast TV. Sadly, people think it’s ‘weird’ to be a healthy functioning blended family comprised of ex’s and new partners. The Scottish Widows study showed that 22% of families said their family type was not valued by society, and 18% feel actively judged by society for the family model in which they live.

Stop sniping at ‘broken families’ and start praising ‘extended families’

Helping people to ‘break up right – please don’t fight’ and to allow their families to take on new forms in ways that keep them out of court and save them money, requires a collaborative and co-operative approach. Which is why more people need to give mediation and collaborative law serious attention when facing divorce. At the very least, actually talk to a real live mediator and collaborative lawyer and find out how they can – with the co-operation of financial and wellbeing professionals if desired by the couple – help a family go through a massive life change in a way that will usually save them money, keep them out of court and protect their children from becoming used as weapons in a litigious approach to breakup.

Come on Mr Cameron: Stand up for all families in their ever growing complexity, and welcome the fact that in order to achieve a healthy extended family, it requires learning new skills in collaboration. These are the very skills we need to change The Big Society from a rallying cry, into a reality.

Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke has said:

‘More use of mediation, more effective court processes and more efficient provision of advice will help to create a family justice system which can better resolve these difficult emotional problems in the best interests of children and families.’

So how can a red Valentine’s Box supporting divorce make a difference?

The box is full of complementary services via vouchers for various experts and also discounts from companies like Divorce Online, who have recently launched a court fee exemption calculator website. Owner of Divorce Online Mark Keenan reckons that the site “will save lips (litigants in person) a hell of a lot of time going through form EX160.” But even more useful is the box’s focus on non-agressive divorce, and starting over from the emotional aspects of family breakup.

As the creator of the Travel Guide for Divorce (in a box), I genuinely believe that the focus on mediation and collaborative law, and particularly on wellbeing support, helps keep families ‘together’ even though they are moving into separate homes.  As a mother of 3 children, I know only too well that the worst Valentine’s Day for me was the one I experienced when my children’s father and i were going through break up, feeling like a romantic failure and wondering if I’d ever find love again. It was horrible.

Collaborative Family Lawyer (they keep you out of court) Kirstie Law says: “Valentines Day can be a difficult day for those who are unhappy in a relationship. If you are thinking of separating it does not have to be acrimonious. Collaborative law and mediation are increasingly used as alternatives to court. The lawyers of the West Kent & East Sussex Collaborative Law Group recognise the value, particularly when it comes to future cop-parenting, of resolving issues constructively. In January all new collaborative clients were offered a divorce in a box free and there are still a few left for those interested in collaborative law. The boxes contain £100s of vouchers and can assist on a financial, emotional and practical level with a range of vouchers for professionals from counsellors to accountants and pensions experts/financial planners. ”

Divorce Online will also soon be providing a link to the Divorce in a Box as an added benefit for it’s clients so support them through the divorce process as painlessly as possible.

I have no way of knowing if anyone will choose the ‘small red box with ribbon) during the Valentine period, but along with those of us actively promoting non-aggressive divorce, I do hope that it might inspire any couples who want to offer each other a way out of their relationship that is respectful and supportive, and who don’t want to ruin the happy memories of better days.

Travel Guide for Divorce in an attractive box which includes over £500 of complementary access to skilled professional advice. In a range of colours, (ribbon is optional) they can be bought online for £40 including vat and UK postage via www.sosdivorceinabox.com

You can read the article in the Metro here: http://www.metro.co.uk/lifestyle/889358-divorce-in-a-box-a-ribbon-wrapped-gift-that-tells-you-how-to-break-up

I live alone with 3 children – but my family isn’t a ‘broken home’.  It’s an extended family.

In the Scottish Widows report Centre for the Modern Family, Dr Rake says of the research “… married couples, lone parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles – can all create the strong caring relationships that are the hallmark of a good family life.”   But what about families who are not related by blood?  Like extended families including ex-partners?

As an illustration of that, my kids and I – along with their dad, bonus mum and bonus brother, appeared on Friday 23 December on BBC Breakfast TV.  Sadly, people think it’s ‘weird’ to be a healthy functioning blended family comprised of ex’s and new partners.  The Scottish Widows study showed that 22% of families said their family type was not valued by society, and 18% feel actively judged by society for the family model in which they live.

Stop sniping at ‘broken families’ and start praising ‘extended families’

Helping people to ‘break up right – please don’t fight’ and to allow their families to take on new forms in ways that keep them out of court and save them money, requires a collaborative and co-operative approach.  Which is why more people need to give mediation and collaborative law serious attention when facing divorce.  At the very least, actually talk to a real live mediator and collaborative lawyer and find out how they can – with the co-operation of financial and wellbeing professionals if desired by the couple – help a family go through a massive life change in a way that will usually save them money, keep them out of court and protect their children from becoming used as weapons in a litigious approach to breakup.

Come on Mr Cameron:  Stand up for all families in their ever growing complexity, and welcome the fact that in order to achieve a healthy extended family, it requires learning new skills in collaboration.  These are the very skills we need to change The Big Society from a rallying cry, into a reality.

Travel Guide for Divorce in an attractive box which includes over £500 of complementary access to skilled professional advice.  Ribbon is optional.  Available for £40 including vat and UK postage at www.sosdivorceinabox.com.

In the Scottish Widows report Centre for the Modern Family, Dr Rake says of the research “..people seem quite liberal around form.  In other words they recognise that different arrangements – married couples, lone parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles – can all create the strong caring relationships that are the hallmark of a good family life.”

What won’t appear in the footage that gets used for the Friday morning piece is the SOS Divorce in a Box (ribbon is optional) – yet the Divorce in a Box is, as my daughter pointed out to me the other day, is a symbol of how our family managed to make a fractured family into a blended family (their dad, bonus mum and bonus brother are all over my place for Xmas breakfast) – since it is the WAY you break up that allows for a ‘modern blended family’ to be as healthy as a ‘traditional family’.

Just as legal and wellbeing professionals are learning to co-operate and take a multi disciplinary approach to the family breakup process, so families themselves are learning to adapt to a more co-operative way of living when the conventional family form becomes unachievable, or undesirable.  Yet society seems to be lagging behind in accepting these changes: 22% of families in the study said their family type was not valued by society. 18% feel actively judged by society for te family model in which they live.

But the statistics take on a deeper significance when you include the 43% of people over 60 who live alone, and the 25% of this group living alone with no family nearby.  Why is there so much social pressure to have a traditional family form, when surely the emphasis should be on encouraging families of all forms, to collaborate and work towards long term healthy relationships?

When divorcing couples focus on mediation and collaborative law as ways of saving money and stress short term, they are missing the real significance of taking a non-adversarial route.  What they need to recognize are the enormous long term benefits: sustainable agreements without the desire to go to court to continue an ongoing sense of grievance; being able to both come along to the wedding of children now grown and maybe even sit on the top table with respective new partners; share in the joy of bonus babies irrespective of blood lineage…..

I believe that it is what is in the Divorce in a Box that will allow people to find the vision, tools and non-adversarial influences (like life coaching, mediation and collaborative law) to make the coming post-Christmas “divorce season” one that will ultimately lead to healthier – but not always ‘traditional’ – family models.

Suzy is selling the boxes online: £36 for the online version, and £40 for the physical version including vat and UK postage.  For more information visit www.sosdivorceinabox.com

If you believe that a quarterly Starting Over Show event, local to you, will benefit all those people starting over from divorce, redundancy, bereavement and life’s other tough stuff, then register by clicking the link most local to you.  You will of course receive free tickets and be the first to know once the event is confirmed.

I want a Starting Over Show (& free tickets please) in RH Uncovered (RH6, RH7, RH10, RH18, RH19)

I want a Starting Over Show (& free tickets please) in CHELTENHAM, GLOS

I want a Starting Over Show (& free tickets please) in GUILDFORD, SURREY

Want an SOS event somewhere else? Pop your name and email in the box below & I’ll keep you up to date with where they are being held:

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Scroll down for Facebook Page widget and short film about the box, plus key promotional/blog info:

For easy Cut and paste html for the images below for website promotion of box, please email suzy at startingovershow.co.uk

Text to use for website/blog information:

Travel Guide for Divorce

Helping people to ‘break up right – please don’t fight’ and to allow their families to take on new forms in ways that keep them out of court and save them money, requires a collaborative and co-operative approach.  Which is why more people need to give mediation and collaborative law serious attention when facing divorce.

Travel Guide for Divorce in an attractive box which includes over £500 of complementary access to skilled professional advice: legal, financial and wellbeing maps to guide you through the journey, and show you a range of choices most people don’t realise are available to them.

Divorcing “outside of the box”.  Ribbon is optional.  Available for £40 including vat and UK postage at www.sosdivorceinabox.com.

Extra article/blog promotion of box:

Other handy web ads:

FACEBOOK

Sam shares her experience of a potential divorce and family break up and how she is using SOS Divorce in a Box to provide information and inspiration.