Inspiration for Starting Over

shared stories

Francine Kaye is known as ‘The Divorce Doctor’ on Channel 5′s ‘The Wright Stuff’ but she has had personal experience at the sharp end and understands what her clients are going through.

See Francine’s story here:

Francine provided a relationship workshop at SOS on 15 March which was free to our visitors.

See more about our speakers at SOS including Francine’s workshop here:

See other personal stories here:

free mini book download

7 ways to leave your lover: breaking up without breaking down

sos-7-ways-to-leave-your-lover-breaking-up-without-breaking-down-april-091

sos village information

What is ‘financial mediation’ and how can it help keep us out of court?

Listen to Val Rush interviewed about financial mediation here:

sos village inspiration

A tough divorce experience led Kirsten Gronning to become a coach to help others in her situation, and then to help create the Breakup Angels who will be attending SOS. Breakup Angels is an innovative organisation providing personal relationship support and help, information and advice to men and women in the UK and overseas who are affected by relationship breakdown – before, through and after separation and divorce.

See Kirsten’s personal story here…..

sos live event news

What business can I start whilst holding down a day job and children?

How would you like to introduce your friends to beautiful shoes, healthy chocolate and save them money on their bills – and earn money at the same time?

Well it seems that you can.  Read our article on Shoe Queen, Xocai Chocolate and Utility Warehouse here….

financial surgery

Free financial surgery at the Starting Over Show – see who was there and what they were offering

diary of a sole parent

“I knew we might have different views on the subject of love when I asked him to qualify `unconditional’ – my usual barrage of `but what if’s’ resulted in Brian re-qualifying his answers to such an extent that he defined no less than three different versions of `unconditional love’. Personally, I believe that there is only one kind……”

short film: a visual taster of the Starting Over Show March 2009

Click here to see our short film about the March 2009 SOS event: this is the short film we made just prior to the event …

networking links

Wikivorce forums packed with useful advice and guidance

Other great resources for starting over

Need word of mouth recommended professionals to talk to? Free access via CertainShops – professionals online

Promotions:

The Shoe Queen Stunning Sale is causing a frenzy,don’t forget to call 01342 824871 to make sure we have your size!

Why make a will? Or update one due to a change of relationship status?

C.J.H. Consultancy Services can help

In partnership with:

Starting Over Show
www.startingovershow.co.uk

All the things you need to know about breaking up and starting over in one SOS

Useful Information
Honest Communication
Personal Transformation

Starting Over Show is part of Certain Shops Ltd. Tel: 0208 8167281  Textphone 18001 0208 8167281
www.certainshops.com Registered in England & Wales  Company no. 5685386  VAT no. 880175810
Registered office North Park Lodge  South Street  East Hoathly  Lewes  E Sussex  BN8 6DS

Soundtrack by Tankus the Henge

We are creating a hub of information and inspiration for the benefit of everyone who has ever needed to start their life over again.  This resource is the creation of Suzy Miller (as featured in August edition of Eve Magazine), who has drawn on her own personal experiences to create the Starting Over Show.

The event will include a free workshop by Channel 5′s The Wright Stuff relationship coach Francine Kaye, a free legal surgery, an Indulgence and Wellbeing area, and a talk and book signing by Anna Pasternak (Daisy Dooley Does Divorce).

A relationship break up can be the perfect time to make positive changes whether that’s starting up the business you always dreamt of, getting your pension sorted, or losing weight and taking more care of your health.

The Starting Over Show, taking place at the Barcelo Brighton Old Ship Hotel on 15 March 2009, is the first UK event to help people bounce back from relationship break ups and life crises. But through our website at www.startingovershow.co.uk we are able to offer support all year round.

Just like at the live event, we are creating a safe haven in which soon-to-be singletons can take professional advice to build the confidence and skills they need to go it alone, supported by our resource site www.sos-village.org.

The access to skilled professionals, information resources and shared experiences via our blogs and comments, will also be valuable to anyone facing redundancy, retirement, bereavement, or just stuck in a rut.

So access our site now for free and take those first steps in starting your life over – or giving it a bit of a shove in the right direction!
Www.startingovershow.co.uk
All the things you need to know about breaking up and starting over in one SOS

Useful Information
Honest Communication
Personal Transformation

Happy Xmas from Suzy Miller and the Starting Over Show

There are more ways to get divorced, break up a civil partnership or leave your live-in lover than you might realise, and it doesn’t have to turn into a saga of anger and bitterness.

Inspiration is just as important as Information when you are experiencing a major life changing event. I am no more an expert than anyone else who has been through a traumatic family break up, but my story was featured in the September 08 issue of Eve Magazine, and I am the creator of the Starting Over Show, an event designed to give people going through relationship breakdowns access to a wide range of resources and specialists who can help them break up without breaking down.

Seven ways to break up without breaking down

One: Don’t try to do it all alone. Relate isn’t just there to help you stay to together – they can help you break up as well. There are different courses and professionals who can help keep the lines of communication open, and avoid an adversarial approach. Why not work with an independent mediator? Most people have never heard of Matrimonial Financial Mediators – but they charge a great deal less than solicitors and can help you thrash out a financial settlement without you having to be in the same room as each other. If you reach a full agreement, then you don’t have to go to court at all.

Two: Be collaborative. Understand that the courts don’t care a fig who caused the breakdown of the marriage, despite all the media about famous people dishing the dirt in court. If you go straight to court you might as well toss a coin as to who will `gain’ the most financially, but if you work together or even use collaborative lawyers to keep your focus on putting your children’s financial security before your own, for example, you are less likely to spend so long getting angry about things the court really aren’t interested in, and create a sustainable settlement.

Three: Don’t join a dating site or even an introduction agency (a much better option) until you are really ready – in other words, don’t still be angry about your last relationship before you start to search for a new one. Like attracts like. Dealing with the emotional journey of a breakup can bring up a great deal of stuff from your past, and this is a wonderful opportunity to sort yourself out once and for all (or at least, make some good headway!). Life coaching can be invaluable at turning a horrible situation into a catalyst for positive change, and some life coaches specialise in divorce for this reason. Some kind of self development process can not only help you deal with your immediate situation, but prepare you for a positive future as a new single.

Four: Don’t compromise because you just want it `all over and done with’. Everyone I know who has done this later felt angry about what they then saw as a very poor settlement. Agreeing to not have enough to pay the mortgage and to feed the kids (when that income is available to be had) can create disharmony and even bitterness later down the line, and even attempts (usually futile) to go back to court. Make informed decisions by finding out what you really need to live off by talking to independent financial advisers who specialise or have experience of divorce and relationship breakdown situations.

Five: Prepare a change of Will. This may seem premature, but by drafting a new Will you will be forced to think about the future and the needs of yourself or your family, including what insurances or pensions you will need to put in place. This will keep your focus on creating a sustainable and sensible financial settlement, whether you will need a bigger or smaller property in several years time, and generally looking forward to how you want to live the rest of your life rather than backwards at what has recently caused you such pain and probably anger.

Six: Don’t take medication just because the GP offers it. Psychiatric issues can arise out of relationship breakdowns, but the first stop is a qualified and experienced practitioner and like most things in life worth having, you may be better off paying for them even if it is just so you can have more sessions sooner than you might get via the NHS. Pills can sometimes be used to keep you `stable’ whilst being put on a waiting list but many drugs can themselves cause an initial depression and should be avoided unless you are in danger of self harm. NLP trained (Neuro Linguistic Programming) practitioners focus on your future and changing your behaviour patterns and can be excellent for getting you back on track with coping mechanisms you can learn to do yourself. Keep going over the negative sides of your broken relationship to the minimum, and only with your kindest friends who will listen, because otherwise you will stay stuck in sadness and anger and find it difficult to move forwards.

Seven: Love yourself. Get fresh air and exercise (a better cure for depression than most medication can offer). Stay away from drugs and alcohol at least until you are through the worst of the pain, and spend time with people who love and care for you. Even if you feel deeply unloved or unworthy at this point, there will be someone who cares, even if it is a listening ear of a good Samaritan. If you have children, don’t feel guilty, feel joy that they were created and will see how their parents can (despite some odd hiccups) get through their break up showing the best and not the worst of themselves. Change your hair, your glasses, go on a mad adventurous holiday where you don’t know any of the other people, dance in clubs you haven’t been to since you were twenty, and laugh with your friends. If your friends don’t laugh with you, get new ones. If you take responsibility for rebuilding your own self esteem and sense of self worth, you will deal with the legal and financial issues around your breakup much more effectively.

The SOS event takes place at the Barcelo Old Ship Hotel in Brighton on 15 March 2009 and will include a workshop with Divorce Doctor Francine Kaye and a talk by Daily Mail columnist Anna Pasternak (Daisy Dooley Does Divorce)

It is the first UK event designed to help people bounce back from relationship break ups and life crises. It will be a safe haven in which soon-to-be singletons can take professional advice to build the confidence and skills they need to go it alone. The philosophy behind the show is useful information, honest communication, personal transformation. Tickets available at www.startingovershow.co.uk

Suzy has also created an independent, non-commercial online resource hub – the SOS Village http://www.sos-village.org which allows people to access a range of resources and to share personal stories to help them through a break up or major life changing situation.